Prescribing for children

Now then Mrs/Miss/Ms Scrote, let me get this straight.
You have insisted on a home visit because your child has had a cold for a week and it hasn't got any better.
The reason you couldn't attend the surgery was because you had no transport.
The two cars on the drive cannot be driven because you and your husband/partner/current squeeze/casual shag are too pissed to leave the comfort of your two large, comfy, inviting looking leather sofas.
You are plonked in front of £1500 worth of High Definition TV, with your £50/month Sky + box, watching a newly released film. I can fully understand you didn't want to be distracted from this whilst I enquired about your child's health, and examined him.
You can smoke at least two cigarettes each in the time I spend in your delightful company and chat on your top of the range mobiles.
So why can't you go and buy some paracetamol, for your child, from the all night shop down the road? Instead of getting the arsehole with me when I refuse to prescribe some.

Pain Relief

Please, please, please.
If you fall over and twist your ankle, stub your toe, or have a bit of toothache lasting over a week. If your child fell over 6 hours ago and has been crying since. If you've had a sore knee, for no real reason for a couple of months.
If then, you then come to see me about it , bitching that it hurts and you can't sleep at night. Help prevent my eyeballs from rolling out of my head by taking some FUCKING PAINKILLERS first!

GPs to undergo nurse training!

GPs should be given the same training as nurse prescribers to help make savings on drugs, according to an RCN adviser.
A report by MPs on the House of Commons Public Accounts Committee last week said the NHS could save more than £200 million a year if prescribers increased the proportion of generic drugs they prescribed......
Molly Courtenay, RCN prescribing adviser and a Reading University professor, said: 'Doctors don't receive the same prescribing training about generics and responsible prescribing that nurses do. Perhaps some of the nurse prescribing programme could be integrated with GP training.' Follow this link for more.

http://www.healthcarerepublic.com/bulletin/IndependentNurse/article/777891/Call-give-GPs-nurse-training/0CF040D78F65F3CC924D8EECF1F0D128/?DCMP=EMC-IndependentNurse

Well, that should stir them up a bit!" I'd like to hear what Crippen has to say about this.

Use us properly!

Working last week in an 'emergency' out of hours clinic - for those who cannot wait until the following day to see their own GP. What 'emergencies' did I deal with?

• A request for re-prescription of emollient cream (moisturiser).
• Some haemorrhoids that had been itching for over a week.
• 7 patients with coughs, who think it has 'gone to my chest and I need antibiotics'. it hadn't, they didn't.
• A painful ankle, for the past six weeks. When I enquired about painkillers I was met with a blank look worthy of Victoria Beckham.
• Someone asking for advice on how to claim housing benefit.
• A child with a scratched knee, which even the father admitted he couldn't actually see.
• A nose bleed which had stopped after 5 minutes - 4 hours ago.

Is it just me or is there something wrong here?